Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
