The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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