It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
