All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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