It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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