Porn is love you can see.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
