Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm just crazy horny about you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
