He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
