yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
