It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
