its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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