I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
