The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
