Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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