Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
