I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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