Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
