ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
