Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
