This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you will always have a special place in my vag
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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