508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
