I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Randomize
