i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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