haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
