So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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