I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
