Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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