she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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