Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those š
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You told him he ācould park his dick in your garageā.
Well he didnāt. It shouldnāt be this hard to get a penis.
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