Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
