We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
