We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
