Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
