i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
i believe in u and ur pee
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
