We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
