honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
