I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
