Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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