my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
