sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
