The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
