so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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