i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
