she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
