I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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