her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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