Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
