Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
