he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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