i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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