yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
