I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
