well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
