let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
