yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize