there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Floor bacon is actually really good
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
