You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
