I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize