Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
