My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
