is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
