I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
