Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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