It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
