No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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