can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I will be naked everywhere
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
